What Identity-Level Recalibration Is (And Why It Matters)

Julie Holly: Hey friend, welcome back or welcome to the Recalibration Podcast. I'm really glad that you're here, and I'm just going to spoil this right now. This is the second episode since I've returned from the sabbatical from the podcast, and I'm trying something new. Remember that the entire daily podcast was a scripted podcast, and what I'm noticing as I'm stepping back into this second episode is that I feel this pressure.

Julie Holly: That, okay, I need to say this at this point. I need to insert these things here. This is all strategic. It all has to happen, and it feels tight. It feels performative, and it feels suffocating. And with that, there's a feeling of, am I going to disappoint my listeners? Am I n- going to create enough value for them?

Julie Holly: And I'm sharing this with you because I live in what my daughter affectionately calls, The House of Real. Like, I want to be real. I'm not here creating this podcast because I have it figured out, and I'm a guru, and come follow me, and if you do what I say, it's going to work out perfectly, and your life will be great.

Julie Holly: I drank that kind of Kool-Aid a long time ago with the high-performance habits and the high-performance this and that. And the beauty that I have found through identity level recalibration is the freedom to release ourself from pressure and from performance. And really, in stepping into this episode in this way, right out of the gate, I'm breaking all the rules.

Julie Holly: Apparently, I'm supposed to ask questions and place specific content in specific places according to all the gurus, , and not enter into the conversation like this. But this is you and me. We're here, and I'm not some guru. I'm not someone up on a stage that has it, like, mastered. I practice identity level c- recalibration on a daily basis, and this really truly is another extension of that practice, of me saying, I am aware of these feelings that I'm experiencing.

Julie Holly: I'm aware of this pressure I'm putting on myself. And some of those things are important, right? So there are some guidelines that we should be following. Those are not bad. But to what end? If you've worked with me or you've ,

Julie Holly: followed my work, to what end is a question I often ask of myself and of my clients.

Julie Holly: It's like, okay, well, let's just extrapolate this. To what end? And in this case, I wanna be real, I wanna be transparent. I want this to feel

Julie Holly: as if we're having a conversation versus, um, I'm just going to lecture at you on something important. We're humans. We have real hearts. If we want the data and the information, we can go into Claude or Chat or Gemini or all the other places, and we can get the information. But you are here and I am here because we care about more than just information.

Julie Holly: We care about the human connection with it. And so

Julie Holly: With this episode, yes, I am going to go back to my notes. I'm going to revisit them so that we stay on point, because I do want to add value to you. But I think already just the transparency of saying, um, when we create content, when we step into something again, when there's a rebirth of sorts, when we step into, um, onto the edge of comfort and discomfort, when we're there, we're still safe.

Julie Holly: I'm still safe. I- I'm going to stumble over my words sometimes, and that's okay. And I'm wondering where you could establish some of that safety for yourself in your life, in your day-to-day. I'm wondering if you're willing to allow yourself to be honest with yourself about what you are really experiencing and allowing that experience to be whatever it is, but showing up anyway.

Julie Holly: So I'm feeling the experience of the discomfort of tripping over my words, of wanting to perform. I'm aware of that. I'm aware of the pressure I'm feeling. And those are two things, as you know if you've been following, you know, my work, pressure and performance is something that identity level recalibration helps reduce and eliminate.

Julie Holly: So the fact that I am feeling that is a very real feeling, and I'm not gonna hide it from you. And, and I'm wondering where you may be feeling that right now in your own life. And are you hiding it from yourself, or are you allowing yourself to sit with it? Are you allowing yourself to be present with those feelings so that you have the opportunity to make some different choices with those feelings?

Julie Holly: In today's episode, I am gonna walk you through the identity level recalibration pathway, just through the five steps of, recognition, release,

Julie Holly: reclamation, reinforcement, and renewed momentum. I'm gonna explain what the different parts of the pathway do for us.

Julie Holly: And really, I'm modeling this in real time through my true in the moment lived, felt experience, but I'm also gonna throw out some other ideas for you. So before we go any further, I do have a few questions that I thought were interesting. And the reason I think these are interesting is because I've been working with high capacity humans now for years, and , there's a pattern.

Julie Holly: The same questions seem to surface again and again. So maybe you're not feeling uncomfortable in an area of your life, but maybe one of these is going to resonate with you

Julie Holly: And maybe all of these will resonate with you. One of the questions that the high capacity humans I work with on a regular basis will ask is, "What's next?" And that's a question that stems from our roots as high performers

Julie Holly: And that question is beautiful because it's usually a sign that we're ready to move on to what's next even if we haven't figured it out yet , I believe this question is very misunderstood because for a lot of high capacity humans who are still transitioning out of the high performance mentality, there is this antsiness that we get.

Julie Holly: It's like, "Oh, I'm ready to move on." In our minds, we've mentally crossed a finish line, we've emotionally crossed a finish line, and it's kind of boring. It's like, "Okay, we're done. We're done with this part.

Julie Holly: We're ready to move on even if we haven't figured out where we want to move on. We're basically saying, "Take me to the land of next so that I can keep myself in motion." I'm gonna dive into why we do that in a little bit, so hang with me, but I have another question that really, like this concept of what's next bleeds into this next question really beautifully.

Julie Holly: If I'm not challenging myself, what happens to the energy I bring to life?

Julie Holly: Guess what? Nothing. Nothing happens to it. It's still yours. , The energy though has been tied to proving and performing for so long you haven't felt what it's like to spend it on anything else.

Julie Holly: I'm gonna add to this that most of us have been going for so long that we equate the rigor of the land of next, as being a good steward.

Julie Holly: We've actually conditioned ourselves to believe that we're kind of like working dogs on a farm, right? Our energy needs to be directed somewhere

Julie Holly: Now please don't hear me say that we shouldn't be directing our energy,

Julie Holly: But when our worth, our value hinges on the belief that the energy we bring to life is intended for challenging ourselves, we're missing massive elements of life. , And I know that this is true because I've so often heard, "I don't remember the last time I felt rested

Julie Holly: That's not a sleep problem you haven't solved yet

Julie Holly: Dear friend, if that statement or the questions resonate with you, I want you to know that You are in very good company. You are not alone. So many of us were raised in a sympathetic or activated state

Julie Holly: That we don't know any different

Julie Holly: I've spoken with so many high-capacity humans who are tracking their sleep because it's another performance metric

Julie Holly: so rest ends up being like asking you about a foreign land you've never visited. It's a body that's been running on alert for so long It forgot what off feels like

Julie Holly: and I'm sure you can see how these questions build on each other. It's kind of like lions and tigers and bears, oh my. So today we're gonna take some time to set the stage for the entire season by walking through the identity level recalibration pathway so that whatever it is that you're facing,

Julie Holly: you'll have a tool that's going to lighten your load instead of add one more thing

Julie Holly: Before we go any further, would you make sure you hit follow or subscribe so you don't miss an episode? And if this show has ever helped you, please take 90 seconds to rate or review it. That's how this show reaches the people who need it.

Julie Holly: I love creating this content, and this is a free way for you to support the hours I pour into creating and hosting the content. Let's dive in

Julie Holly: As I mentioned at the beginning of the episode, the identity level recalibration pathway has five stages. If you're actually looking at a picture of the pathway,

Julie Holly: it's a circle because it fuels itself. It always starts with recognition, and recognition is an awareness.

Julie Holly: I always say that 80% of recalibration is simply being aware because we cannot heal what we cannot see

Julie Holly: When I opened the podcast episode, I was expressing the awareness that I was experiencing in the real lived, felt moment, right? The experience of feeling in my head, of feeling uncomfortable and feeling the pressure to produce something, and feeling a need to perform at a level that delivers high-value content to you.

Julie Holly: My awareness of that just allowed me to be real with myself, It allowed me to simply see the landscape and say, "This is what is

Julie Holly: When we can see it, we have an opportunity to do something with that.

Julie Holly: One of the ways you can know recognition is taking place is when the small things start bothering you more than the small things actually should

Julie Holly: You might have the recognition of, um, I'm aware that I'm asking myself, "What's wrong with me? Can I just go back to the start again? Why don't I feel rested?" All of these things are recognition, and the beauty of being aware is that now we have an opportunity to do something with that awareness.

Julie Holly: We can choose between two things, and on the recalibration pathway, they look like they're in sequence, But when clients go through the recalibration cohort or when we're working together, I always remind them that it's almost a toggle.

Julie Holly: You might have something to release. You may have something to reclaim. So i'm going to share release first, and then I'm going to talk about reclamation.

Julie Holly: , But I want you to understand that it's almost like two sides of the same coin. So when we're aware of something, we can switch and say, "Okay, do I need to release something? Do I need to reclaim something?"

Julie Holly: So let's talk about releasing.

Julie Holly: Release is the understanding that , what you've been carrying longer than necessary, it can be set down with honor, not shame that letting go of a role is not abandonment, it's alignment

Julie Holly: I think It's really important to understand that release does not ask you to burn anything down. It just asks you to stop carrying the thing that nobody's making you carry anymore.

Julie Holly: So when I hear questions like, "If I'm not challenging myself, what happens to the energy I bring to life?" I actually wonder to myself, what underlying identity belief needs to be released?

Julie Holly: because with that question, there's clearly an underlying belief that I have to be bringing something to life. This energy needs to be allocated in a s- particular way.

Julie Holly: And if that's sparking with you, congratulations, you're experiencing awareness. And now you have an opportunity to look at it , a little closer

Julie Holly: I'll be turning 50 in about six months, and it's only in the past couple of years that I've truly realized the programming that I integrated during my childhood. I've joked about the butt sensor in past episodes, and this

Julie Holly: Is when you sit down and you can't relax because you know there's something more productive that you should be doing, or you know that someone is going to ask you to get up and take the trash out as soon as you sit down.

Julie Holly: And I wanna just circle back to a word I used. I said , it's programming I integrated during my childhood. That was how I perceived the world around me, and that's how I internalized things, so my lived, felt experience. That doesn't necessarily mean that that is what was taking place , in my environment, but those were the rules that I understood

Julie Holly: That kept me safe. And what I found is that most of my clients have very similar programming. We learn that it's not safe to relax. It's not safe to rest.

Julie Holly: What I have been learning is that rest is just as important, if not more, than the actual activity itself. It is so critical. And so I had to release, this is part of my recalibration is, releasing that belief that it is not safe to rest, that I cannot sit down and relax, that I must be doing something even if I am sitting.

Julie Holly: Releasing that belief and then stepping into the next part of the pathway, which is reclamation. Reclamation is when clarity returns, not as something new, but as a recognition of what was always true

Julie Holly: The cool thing is that reclamation isn't a glow up. It's not becoming somebody It's stopping the performance of somebody you've already stopped being I want you to let that sit for a moment, and I'm gonna say that again. Reclamation isn't a glow up.

Julie Holly: It's not becoming somebody. It's stopping the performance of somebody you already stopped being. It's really interesting, on the drive to school, and this is real time addition into our episode today, My daughter was driving to school. I'm in the passenger seat, and she said, "Will you look up the poem We Wear the Mask?"

Julie Holly: I said, "Sure, yeah." So I look up this poem, We Wear the Mask, and I read it to her and I said, "Is that the poem?" She's like, "That's it. That's the one." She, um, engaged this poem in her English class. I'm gonna take a moment to read it to you right now. It is, um, it's written by Paul Laurence Dunbar, and it's, it's short, so hang with me for a moment.

Julie Holly: And here's the poem: we wear the mask that grins and lies, It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes. This debt we pay to human guile; With torn and bleeding hearts we smile, and mouth with myriad subtleties. Why should the world be over-wise, In counting all our tears and sighs?

Julie Holly: Nay, let them only see us, while We wear the mask. We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries To thee from tormented souls arise. We sing, but oh, the clay is vile Beneath our feet, and long the mile; But let the world dream otherwise, We wear the mask. is our opportunity to say, "I've already stopped being that person.

Julie Holly: I am done wearing that mask. I can set the mask down. I can reclaim who I am at the core this poem really highlights the concept

Julie Holly: Of, stopping the performance of somebody you already stopped being. We don't have to wear the mask. We can reclaim who we are at the core. So let's put this into a little more practical vein. a question like, "What's next?"

Julie Holly: is really doing a lot of heavy lifting. It's showing our awareness that we are ready to transition. We're ready to release something. But here's the thing. We have to have something to replace it with What I've noticed, and I think you'll notice this as soon as I say it, is that most people can tell you what they don't like

Julie Holly: The truth is, most people spend so much time wallowing about what's wrong and so little time contemplating what they do want that their lives never change. Reclamation is the understanding that there is something good and true that when we choose to release, we can choose to receive

Julie Holly: So far we've gone through three of the five steps of the recalibration pathway

Julie Holly: Recognition, release, reclamation And now we transition into reinforcement. We've done the heavy lifting. It's time to reinforce what we've determined.

Julie Holly: Reinforcement can be especially challenging for those with deep-rooted high- performance tendencies. And when I say that, I wanna be clear, I don't have a problem with high performance tools and being a high performer and being super successful. I love all of that. But I love that when our identity is solid and that , we're not using those,

Julie Holly: We're not operating from pressure. We're not , operating from a need to prove, to perform so that we can belong, so that we can prove that we're worthy

Julie Holly: If anyone has a difficult time with reinforcement, it's those of you, who love to live in the excitement, enthusiasm, and distraction of the land of next. Breakthroughs are powerful and exciting. Starting a project and the rigor of getting it running is exhilarating. I know, I've done that.

Julie Holly: But staying longer, let's be real, that feels like snoozeville. We understand and are skilled with discipline, but make us sit with a project in the middle, oh, and it's baking for what feels like forever, that's where m- that's where many of us check out.

Julie Holly: This is an area I've personally had to recalibrate. I love the new beginnings. I love the rigor. I love the messiness and the, the struggle that comes with lifting something off the ground, and I get lost in the middle cycle.

Julie Holly: I love the end, but that middle is where a lot of complications take place for many of us. So for me, doing the daily podcast for an entire year definitely helped me put reps in. I remember several times in the middle of the year wondering, was it worth it to keep going?

Julie Holly: hadn't I created enough? Shouldn't I just move on to whatever the land of next has to offer? But I knew in advance that this would happen. I knew my tendencies. I was aware. I recognized that. And so you might be wondering, well, how did you stay committed in the middle?

Julie Holly: and here's what kept me in it, a simple question, one you may wanna borrow when you're in the middle. Here's the question: What's on the other side? If you've built a business, if you've finished the 10K or a marathon, if you've experienced sleepless nights after bringing a baby home from the hospital and reached an age where they sleep through the night, if you've done things like that or other things-

Julie Holly: you know there's another side. And the only way to experience the other side is to literally move inch by inch from one place to the other. And usually the other side offers a vantage point and a view that is so majestical, so powerful, that you're glad you put one foot in front of the other, that you hung in there and did the thing.

Julie Holly: The only way you would have had that perspective is by doing the thing. No book, no podcast, no long excited explanation from another human can infuse into your life what is built inside you when you reinforce what is true. I love in the book Crucial Conversations, they have a diagram, , I think it's in chapter two, chapter one or two, and it's called the emotional cycle of change.

Julie Holly: And I've talked about this so many times on, in probably episodes 300 to 650 about that emotional cycle of change. And we start from informed optimism, and we get started. We're so happy. This is so much fun. This is so exciting. And then we just nosedive into the trough of despair. And the trough of despair is where we are tested.

Julie Holly: And through the trough of despair, most people end up, you know, pulling the chute and going back up to the rim to say, "I'm, I'd rather live in, um, uninformed optimism." But then there are those who go to the other side of the trough, and they exit on informed optimism. They've done the heavy lifting.

Julie Holly: They've done the work. And so they're having an experience and a perspective that is from the vantage point of the other side

Julie Holly: If you are in the middle, if you are struggling with staying committed, it's not because you have a discipline problem. it's likely it's more of a perspective. So I wanna invite you into curiosity, into wonder. Get hungry to say, "I wonder what's on the other side of this. I wonder what's on the other side of if I don't drink alcohol for a year.

Julie Holly: What would that be like? I wonder what it's like if I commit to journaling for the next 30 days consistently. What's on the other side?" You can grow your

Julie Holly: capacity on this by simply putting in those reps. Set some small goals. Set a seven-day challenge for yourself, and just experience what's on the other side.

Julie Holly: And if seven days feels like too long, don't shame yourself. Just say, "Wow, that feels like a long time. Let me try it for three days." Try it for three days, and you can continue to extend it from three days to seven days to 10 days, and your challenges for yourself can get longer, and then you're building your internal strength to navigate the middle

Julie Holly: And this leads into the final part of the recalibration pathway, and that is renewed momentum.

Julie Holly: And truly what's on the other side when we complete something is the opportunity to live and experience renewed momentum. This feels so much different than the old drive. The old drive needed an audience. It often needed to perform to prove that you are worthy, to earn belonging, to gain status And these are all things you don't need on the other side

Julie Holly: It's been so much fun for me watching clients navigate the recalibration pathway in their lives, in their businesses, in their relationships, because , there is this falling away of things that no longer serve us, and this reclamation, this reclaiming the territory that is yours. It's truly stepping into the fullness of who God created you to be

Julie Holly: As we go through the remainder of the season, if you ever wanna come back and be reminded of , what are the steps of the recalibration pathway, this can be one of your go-to episodes to just remind yourself, okay, what does it mean when we're talking about reclamation, reinforcement, and renewed momentum this is your one-stop shop. You can also go back to revisit previous episodes in season four specifically. Every week took one concept and walked the listener through a day on recognition, a day on release on that specific topic.

Julie Holly: And from this point forward, there are different topics that we're going to address throughout the remainder of season five. There is still time. You can still cast your vote for what topics you want to be heard. Right now, it was very surprising to me that faith and spirituality is one of the top topics that listeners want to hear about

Julie Holly: that honestly took me by surprise. I had that slated for towards the end of season five. So I think that's going to get boosted towards the beginning of season five.

Julie Holly: Um, other votes are coming in with life transitions, um, AI and career, as well as addressing ADHD.

Julie Holly: We're gonna spend a few weeks on each topic. It's not just gonna be one week. So if you're listening to this before October 31st, click the link in the show notes, cast your vote.

Julie Holly: Let me know what you would like, what topics are important to you, so that we're shaping content that is truly serving and supporting your recalibration

Julie Holly: If this is landing for you, I would love to invite you to check out the Recalibration Collective. The Recalibration Collective is a private community. It doesn't have a bougie price tag on it, but it is a place where I'm showing up intentionally.

Julie Holly: Um, in the Recalibration Collective, there are regular pop-up coaching sessions, and then there are two trainings every single month that I am dedicated to. They're already on my calendar. They are already being built out in real time. And One training will always be applying identity-level recalibration to our professional lives and the other to our relational lives.

Julie Holly: Because we're gonna be building both parts of our lives. This community is a place where I'm dedicated to showing up.

Julie Holly: Candidly, right now, I just opened the doors. I haven't really put this out, aside from last week's podcast episode. Um, so this is going to be small, and this isn't something where I'm trying to grow it into thousands of people. I honestly wanna keep it a small, intentional community where meaningful connection is truly taking place.

Julie Holly: I like knowing people, and this is something I've learned over my sabbatical. One of the things I realized is that I deeply value knowing people and having time for people. And so this community is an opportunity for us to truly know each other. And remember, I do know a lot.

Julie Holly: I have a lot of experience, and so do you.

Julie Holly: i'm not a Tony Robbins guru. I'm not a Brendon Burchard guru. I'm someone that is living and breathing identity recalibration With you, and that's what's going to take place inside the recalibration cohort

Julie Holly: Thanks so much for listening and hanging out with me today. I'm going to circle back to the beginning of the podcast to how I was feeling. I was feeling pressure, and here I am on the other side, as we were talking about, and I am feeling more relaxed, more present.

Julie Holly: I actually feel like we're hanging out together, and I know that you're listening to this at any point in time, but I wouldn't be experiencing this , if I hadn't recognized and simply allowed myself to be aware of , what was taking place, and if I hadn't chosen to release and to reclaim.

Julie Holly: So thanks for hanging out with me. Thanks for being part of my recalibration process. I'll see you next week. Remember, this is a daily journey, and you're exactly where you need to be today.