What Happens When the Conditions Change?

Julie Holly: What happens when the conditions change? When you sense your usefulness to the company you've been with for years is thinning. When after years together, your partner is so different from the person you committed to. When you notice you've changed and the community that once felt like home doesn't feel the same.

Julie Holly: Or maybe it's the more sudden kind of change, an unexpected diagnosis or a loss. What happens when the conditions of your life change? Change isn't the exception, it's the constant.

Julie Holly: What makes it hit so hard is that most of us, we've built our sense of safety on things staying the same. When you stop needing the conditions to hold, change becomes something you can meet and even create from.

Julie Holly: Welcome back or welcome to The Recalibration, where high capacity humans realign who they are so they can move from pressure and performance into peace, presence, and clarity without losing their edge.

Julie Holly: I'm Julie Holly, researcher, coach, and founder of the Identity Level Recalibration Pathway. Today, we're talking about what happens when the conditions of your life shift

Julie Holly: And why trying harder to make them stop changing keeps so many of us stuck

Julie Holly: As I was preparing for this podcast episode, I was thinking about different changes that I've experienced over the decades. And I've experienced, as have you, so many different types of changes. Changes that I was in control of, changes that were thrust upon me, changes that I loved, changes that brought surprise outcomes, maybe even surprise friends, and changes that brought heartache and heartbreak.

Julie Holly: Change brings so many things. One of the elements that I noticed as I was contemplating the concept of, what happens when the conditions change, is that we are living in this period of time right now where there is so much change taking place at a very, very rapid rate. And I was thinking specifically about technology, Technology affects so many different things So as we go through this episode, I'm gonna be talking about, what happens when the conditions change through the lens of my relationship with technology.

Julie Holly: You may not feel like the changes in technology are affecting the conditions of your life, and I wanna assure you that everything that we're talking about is still for you. The underlying principles are the same.

Julie Holly: I just have to have a way of communicating around them so that you can, see the process, see how it goes through. And so as we go through this content today, I'm gonna share my experience. I'm going to, reference some different concepts. I have some Greek concepts. I have, a book that I read that was really short and really interesting, and I think it's going to be helpful.

Julie Holly: I'm gonna read, just share a little bit from that. And then we're gonna actually walk through the pathway. I'm gonna give you an opportunity to identify and then reflect very intentionally on some of the changing conditions in your life.

Julie Holly: Let's get started

Julie Holly: My relationship with technology goes all the way back to my childhood. I've shared this before on the podcast, when UPC, came out and you could now scan the items at the checkout, as all of that technology, was coming online, the way I interpreted the world around me, it was very, very scary.

Julie Holly: It was so scary. I internalized that as, wow, that's the gateway. That's going to be the mark of the beast. Here I am all of like five, six years old, and that was where my mind went, and I went into very scary, apocalyptic places.

Julie Holly: What's interesting is that I think a lot of us still do that. I think that advances in technology feel

Julie Holly: So, very, very scary. Like recently, a couple of years ago, I went to our local amusement park, and that sounds really funny because if you're listening and you know I live in far north Idaho, you're probably thinking, "You guys have an amusement park?" It's actually really a phenomenal amusement park with great roller coasters and just so clean. It's absolutely amazing. It's a really, like, wholesome, family-friendly environment.

Julie Holly: It was really interesting because when my family went a couple of years ago, they had gone to a cashless system, and so, there was no point to have any cash on you.

Julie Holly: I imagine you've had that experience as well at this point, that you've gone to an event, maybe a concert, or you've gone someplace and they're like, " we don't take cash." Like, you have to, you have to transact in this digitized way. And I remember just having this knot in my stomach, and it reminded me of that same knot in my stomach that I had as a young girl when, you know, the cashier is scanning the groceries for the first time with UPC symbols, and it's like boop, boop.

Julie Holly: Probably a little faster than that. But that same knot came into my stomach a couple years ago, and I was just like, "Oh, this is really scary." And, and it went to that same apocalyptic sort of thinking

Julie Holly: I could go deep down the rabbit hole with you as to all the fears that, that surfaced in that moment. But ultimately, ultimately the fear is the fear of the unknown. The unknown of what happens when the world becomes more and more digitized?

Julie Holly: It's really interesting because uncertainty is like a Petri dish, and in each of us, it grows different things. For me, one of the byproducts of uncertainty is fear. Fear is one of my default responses

Julie Holly: You may have a petri dish of uncertainty, and that petri dish may have excitement, curiosity, wonder, delight. I've had to add those into my uncertainty petri dish over the years and learn how to embrace those elements as well. But fear is my primary response when I face uncertainty

Julie Holly: I know that this is gonna be a little out of order, a little Pulp Fiction style going on here because I'm, I'm bouncing around on my timeline a bit, going from a couple years ago to when I was a child. And as I was preparing my notes for this episode, I was also remembering another huge technological shift when I was in college, and I'm sure a lot of you listening are going to remember this as well.

Julie Holly: Remember when we used to go to the grocery store, you would use cash or check. You would sit there and hand write a check. Sometimes it's funny, I would write a check for like $2 or, you know, it's like, "Oh, this is, I don't have any cash on me, but I have a check," you know? It's like, "Here we go." Um, which is really funny, and I vividly when debit cards came about, and I was adamantly opposed, and I used, I tried with all my might to not use a debit card.

Julie Holly: One of my friends was visiting from Southern California. We were in college. She came up to where I was living in, in what some people call Northern California. It's actually the Central Valley. So she comes up to Modesto to visit. We're checking out of a Raley's grocery store, and she used her debit card.

Julie Holly: And I remember in that moment, that transaction just, it made my... I have the words for it now. It made my nervous system go bonkers all over the place. It just, you know, a bunch of bouncy balls just pinging around all over. My nervous system was completely dysregulated because my understanding of technology was rooted, so deeply rooted in fear, fear that this technology was going to be used in a very det- detrimental way

Julie Holly: And with all the uncertainty of changing conditions, those are things that you and I don't have control over

Julie Holly: There came a point where I accepted what I have control over and what is beyond my control, and with that acceptance, I'll get into that a little bit more about acceptance not being approval, but with that acceptance came grief.

Julie Holly: And I know we've talked about that on the podcast many times, how grief is often accompanied with good things and with things that are more challenging in our life, our negative life experiences. And in this case, I realized that I was grieving,

Julie Holly: As I think a lot of people are grieving right now the loss of innocence in a, in a way, right? This, what we perceive as the simple days. I think about Ma and Pa, you know, Laura Ingalls Wilder, and, you know, it just, you think about, oh, that was such a simple time. That was, you know, history was so simple back then, and that was a kind of place, you know, it's a little romanticized, like can we just go back to the simplicity of things?

Julie Holly: I grieved that things really don't get simpler over time. And the reality is, is that human nature keeps recycling the same struggles just in new forms

Julie Holly: If we look back over the centuries, over thousands of years Before they had computers, before they had any of the technologies, before they had Elon Musk with his new rocket spaceship sort of car that, you know, he wants to introduce to the world, before all of, all of those type of innovations, there were still other technological advances, some that were used for good and some that were used for terrible things

Julie Holly: I also grieved that my kids and future generations, may not know the ease and peace that I wish for them, the world is a complex place, and the conditions are changing.

Julie Holly: So like I said, maybe yours isn't technology. Maybe it's the job, the marriage, your community, a diagnosis. The details are different for each of us, but I wonder if that knot feels a little bit familiar

Julie Holly: Like I said in the introduction, The truth is the conditions are always changing, and the struggle really comes from us striving to create stability. As I was preparing for this, I was thinking about Sisyphus,

Julie Holly: And I always have to do a Google search for, you know, Greek figure pushing rock up the hill, and like, right? And so Sisyphus is the one who forever he pushed the rock up the hill, the mount- hill, mountain, I'm not sure. It comes down, and then he has to do it all over again, and that is the state of his existence And that's really the relationship that, that many of us have when it comes to trying to create stability in our lives.

Julie Holly: It's really us condemning ourselves to a life like Sisyphus. We push the boulder up the hill, we watch it roll back down, and then we push it back up again. And in reality, we're actually opposing the laws of nature

Julie Holly: this morning, my daughter and I are driving to school. We were driving east, and the sun is coming up, and the clouds just illuminated. Blue backdrop, these beautiful clouds just having the sunlight come through. It was just extraordinary.

Julie Holly: And I'm just amazed at how everything around us is in constant change. Even throughout the day, our Earth, our planet, is rotating on its axis. We face the sun for 12 hours of the day. We are away from the sun 12 hours a day and, we're rotating, and in that rotation, we're also orbiting around our sun.

Julie Holly: All of these changes are taking place. You and I, on a cellular level, we are disposing of cells and regenerating new cells. Every single thing around us is in constant change. And yet, here we are saying, "We are going to create stability. We are going to have a bank account that is stable and solid and predictable.

Julie Holly: We are going to have investments that we depend on because they will produce their projected outcomes."

Julie Holly: We approach our relationships as if they are unchanging. Well, I told you I love you, so you know I love you, and we can move on. We might do the same workout. When I think about hacks, habits, and strategies, most of those hacks, habits, and strategies are actually designed to create stability in our environment. Why do you wake up and do a morning routine?

Julie Holly: Why do you eat certain foods at certain times of day? Why all of these things that we do? It's like we're we're trying to create a predictable outcome so that we aren't affected by changing conditions. I am gonna give an asterisk there that I do understand that some people do that, and it allows them, if they're healthy, that type of steadiness allows them to buffer when the unexpected changes do take place, when conditions do change.

Julie Holly: So there is that element, I'm not saying it's all or nothing. It's not a zero sum at all. But generally speaking, if we're honest with ourselves, our intent in many of the things that we do is to create something that is stable, steady, predictable

Julie Holly: And so why do we put ourself in this position where that's what we're trying to create?

Julie Holly: I'm gonna offer four reasons. I think that you would have some others to add to this, but I think that these reasons are, grounded and they're a really great springboard for future conversation.

Julie Holly: And this is actually a great moment to just let you know that I am going to do a live training, and It's called How to Make Room for What Matters When You're Already at Capacity. That's going to take place on November 3rd.

Julie Holly: It's a free live training. I would love to see you there. Bring a friend. And I mention that here because these are starting grounds. These four ideas are kind of like, the starting ground, and more conversation and more context really allows us to expand upon these.

Julie Holly: The first reason I believe we try to create these conditions is that it's primal. We are we are humans, and we are designed to be able to sense danger and respond to danger, and those are primal instincts that we have. And so a lot of times we believe that stability feels like safety

Julie Holly: And so it's a belief that we have.

Julie Holly: And, and our nervous system reinforces that belief.

Julie Holly: The second reason is that it worked in the past

Julie Holly: At some point, holding things steady was actually successful. And I'm not saying that that has to be in a healthy way, but oftentimes we do have some type of success at keeping things steady, and so we pursue that. That may mean that when you, you were a young child and there was tension in your home, you understood how to create - a sense of steadiness for yourself that allowed you to feel safe. That may mean at the job that you're at, as conversations are happening around you about

Julie Holly: Downsizing and outsourcing and such, you have created a way that allows you to feel steady and stable so that you can show up and perform in the role that you were hired for. Again, these things aren't bad. They're just observations. We don't have to label them, and that's one of the most important things to remember.

Julie Holly: We are not shaming, condemning, criticizing, or condemning anything here. We're simply observing. The third reason is that sometimes we feel like we're getting close. If we just One more push, one more rep, then everything's gonna be steady and stable, and we're going to be okay.

Julie Holly: Uh, Super Rad Steve and I were talking recently about the image, And I imagine you've seen this. There's an image of a miner, he's deep underground, and he's walking away with his pick and his, his gear, and he's walking away, and you can see, you know, if he woulda just, you know, hit the earth one more time, he would've found this huge treasure, you know, a huge wealth of gems and such.

Julie Holly: And so a lot of times we've conditioned ourselves to believe, "If I just keep going, if I just do this one more thing, it's... I'm gonna get what I need, and it's gonna be okay." And so we actually create this, this steadiness and stability from staying in motion. Mm. That resonates with me.

Julie Holly: I stayed in constant motion for decades with that thought in mind. The final reason is that it's expected. We have expectations for us on how we show up, and sometimes we feel that the people around us expect us to show up a particular way.

Julie Holly: For me, I would go to work, and I was generally really happy to be there and just happy in general. And there was an expectation that I would be happy because that is my consistent state of being.

Julie Holly: And I remember one day I showed up, and I wasn't my normal bubbly, happy self, and everyone was like, "What, what's going on? Are you okay?" Like, they were deeply about my state of being. And so sometimes we can, we do this, we push ourselves into a position of up this way because that's what's expected of me.

Julie Holly: If I don't show up in a particular way, then things won't be steady and stable

Julie Holly: The reality is, is that there's a rule book beneath all of this, and it is a very transactional approach to life.

Julie Holly: It's a true if X, then Y will happen. If I show up to work, I will get paid. If I show up to work consistently, I will get promoted. If I show up to work, consistently, I will have a retirement account. And in these formulas we oftentimes neglect all of the information, all of the context around us. We are completely blindsided then when the layoff happens. We're completely blindsided when our department is outsourced.

Julie Holly: We're blindsided when our partner no longer wants to be in relationship with us. We're blindsided when we no longer feel connected to the community that we've belonged to for years

Julie Holly: That transactional rule book leaves no room for life to life. So we set ourselves up for struggle and pain and heartache

Julie Holly: I wanna read an excerpt from a book by Price Pritchett. He wrote this book, it's called You Too, and, this is in a section called Ignore Conventional Approaches. And he says this: " the tendency when you stall out or begin to level off in your performance is to go back to the basics and do what you do best.

Julie Holly: But doing what you do best can be the worst thing you can do. It really doesn't matter how well you can do something if it's the wrong thing to do. Faith in the familiar sets the trap, and you spring it when you reinvest yourself in what logically seems like it should work because it usually worked in the past."

Julie Holly: He goes on to say, " you've gotta break out of the rut where you've been running. Second-guess your routines. Overcome the addiction to your old methodologies. Set a new pattern. If the things you're doing have quit working, stop doing them.

Julie Holly: Focus on what works. If you'll just quit what you've been doing instead of doggedly doing it harder, you at least create an opportunity, some white space to do something else." I notice I have, a question that I wrote in the margin that says, "What do I need to quit doing?"

Julie Holly: And a lot of us need to ask that.

Julie Holly: As we are striving to create steadiness and stability amidst changing conditions, we really need to take time to evaluate, just like he, just like he's suggesting here. We should second-guess our routines. We should overcome the addiction to our old methodologies and set a new pattern.

Julie Holly: Because a lotta times, yeah, what we did, it used to work. The conditions are changing, and so that's going back to just this entire concept of if you stay the same because you want the world to be steady, stable, predictable, then you are setting yourself up to be like Sisyphus just pushing the rock

Julie Holly: up the hill, and it's going to lead to a lot of heartache. It's gonna lead to a lot of pain

Julie Holly: one of those conventional truths that we never question is that stability equals safety. So it's truly worthwhile to evaluate and say, ", Am I riding the wave or am I trying to keep the wave from, from breaking on the shore?

Julie Holly: 'Cause a wave is gonna break. You can only ride a wave for so long, and then you gotta get back out there.

Julie Holly: So let's talk about what happens at the identity when the conditions are changing, because it's really fascinating, and I think that this is gonna resonate with you.

Julie Holly: Maybe you've noticed this in your life as well. One of the things that I have noticed with myself and with many others, we tend to slide back into old patterns and old roles. So at work, we play the role, and sometimes even when people are promoted, they struggle with the new roles and responsibilities because their identity is rooted in a previous role. Sometimes if we were labeled the quiet one, the introvert, then we stay the quiet introvert. It's a role that we played. we've adopted it as part of our identity. We've never pushed back on it. We just assume, and as I mentioned earlier, well, everybody expects me to show up this way.

Julie Holly: It's kind of funny because in our home we've, we've spoken about this, where it can be so challenging if you've had, had a rupture in a relationship, and to get back into that flow of, "Okay, things are good. We're okay. We're fine. This is easy." And I think you can relate to that. Sometimes when you've had a rupture in a relationship, it's how do we get back to the ease?

Julie Holly: How do we get back to the lightness? Because that was really heavy, and that was a lot, and it was big conversation, and so how do we come back to? And sometimes people simply stay in that ruptured state.

Julie Holly: We can see the patterns of our identity as they show up when we're at home, when we're at work, when we're at friends, when we're with the professional organization we're with. We can start to see how we show up in these different environments, and it is natural for us to shift our orientation because those are different relationships.

Julie Holly: I love how C.S. Lewis, he spoke after one of the Inklings, they were, the group of four of them called themselves the Inklings, and they would get together at the pub and talk about what they're writing. They were all prolific writers. When one of them passed away, he made the comment, you know, "We will never smile the same way because he has passed, and he brought that out of us."

Julie Holly: So I'm not saying it's insincere or disingenuous that we show up in different ways in different settings, but we can start to see different patterns showing up in our lives, and it can be very interesting to just simply take note of that,

Julie Holly: As we head into the holidays, it'll be really fascinating as you are getting together with people. A lot of times we'll get together with family or with friends where we have deeper relationships or, and by deeper, I mean, let me recharacterize that., Longer term relationships with, and sometimes you may have shifted, and you know that who they are expecting to show up at Thanksgiving at, you know, at the Thanksgiving table is not who you are anymore. And so we can digress or revert into a previous aversion because that

Julie Holly: I wanna add a little moment here because as I was thinking about my experience of being a child at the grocery store with UPC codes for the first time going through the checkout, it's interesting that adults don't often know what is taking place in the internal world of the children around them.

Julie Holly: And just recently, my daughter told me that she believed for a cou- she's like, "For like two years, Mom, I believed that I was a robot, and it was so scary to me. And I just went through my days wondering if I was a robot." And I was taken aback. I was shocked, and I was sad, and I was curious. I had so many feelings spark all at once when she told me that.

Julie Holly: And she gave me space to ask her questions you know, 'cause I was curious where that stemmed from, and it turns out that we were listening to a podcast called Six Minutes, very fun- And it's kids, and it turns out that some of the kids are actually robotic kids, and some of the kids are robots, but nobody knows that they're robots.

Julie Holly: And my daughter Was probably somewhere between eight to 10 years old - when this was taking place

Julie Holly: And so it's important for us to be aware when we think about changing conditions, younger people, Their, their conditions are changing lightning fast because their context is constantly growing because they're having more experiences in the world around them

Julie Holly: They take in the world around them with the capacity that they have at the time I imagine that you had your version and nobody knew about it either, you know? And by the way, she gave me permission to share that story with you.

Julie Holly: So really the reason I wanna share that with you is really twofold. Let's understand our own younger experiences. Let's be aware of the youth in our lives and their experiences, and then,

Julie Holly: Let's ask something more of ourselves. The truth is, is that many of the rules that we still follow were written by a younger version of us with the capacity we had then and for conditions that no longer exist

Julie Holly: So a lot of times, going back to Sisyphus, a lot of times we've created beliefs, we've created our identity, we've created a world based upon past experiences, many of which we don't go back, we don't surface, we don't do what, Pritchett said we don't second-guess any of it. We assume that, that is the floor that we're gonna build on. And so we try harder,

Julie Holly: Which is where I wanna bring Pritchett's work back into the conversation again. He has a section called Quit Trying Harder. Because you and I generally, we are trying hard. He says, "Sooner or later, you're going to reach the point where you can't try any harder. It may be that your spirit flags or that your physical and mental resources are stretched to the limit, and often well before you come to that set of circumstances, you reach the point of diminishing return.

Julie Holly: Trying harder and harder starts producing less and less. Sometimes, in fact, intensifying your efforts produces nothing except bigger problems

Julie Holly: Now, he goes on to say, "Now, this isn't an argument against self-discipline or persistence. Those are virtues. Over a lifetime, they can make powerful contributions to success and achievement. They are, they are fundamental to the development of your talents. It's extremely important to apply yourself diligently, and sometimes staying power is what delivers a big win.

Julie Holly: But ordinarily, you will find that trying harder produces only incremental gains, not quantum leaps. Also, keep in mind that trying harder, even a lot harder, sometimes offers little more than a straight path to burnout. Attempting to succeed through more of the same, being resolute and relying on

Julie Holly: committed effort can blind you to better pathways."

Julie Holly: And that makes me wonder how many of us have been trying so hard to protect ourselves or to create something in ways from an old way of thinking, an old way of being, an old identity. The hard part usually isn't change itself, it's that we keep pushing the boulder

Julie Holly: I wanna encourage you to remember that the hard part usually isn't the change itself, it's that we keep pushing the boulder toward a kind of stability that life was never going to give us

Julie Holly: I've been writing a lot about this over on LinkedIn. So if this is resonating, I would highly recommend go check out my LinkedIn, go check out the writing that I have over on LinkedIn. It's different. It is very different than the writing that I am doing over on Substack. It's different than the podcast. But all of it is similar but not same. Different perspectives, different vantage points. So check that out, subscribe to the newsletter . They're more formal, and it's another approach to looking at this that may resonate with you as well.

Julie Holly: Okay

Julie Holly: I wanna shift gears right now, and I wanna walk you through the identity level recalibration pathway, with whatever changing condition you have right now in your life.

Julie Holly: We all have one. I believe that you know what that changing condition is. Whether or not you've said it aloud to yourself or to anyone around you, you just simply have a sense of it.

Julie Holly: And so in the privacy of your car, of your headphones, of wherever you are listening to this right now, I wanna walk you through the recalibration pathway so that you can have more clarity on that, and I am really excited because as we walk the recalibration pathway, I'm gonna walk myself.

Julie Holly: I'm gonna use AI and technology. You can use your changing circumstance, your changing conditions, and where we land at the end when we walk through the pathway I have confidence it's going to leave both of us feeling a lot lighter

Julie Holly: The pathway is five stages. Recognition, release, reclamation, reinforcement, and renewed momentum. We're gonna walk through each part of the pathway with our changing condition. So let's dive into recognition, which is simply noticing what is.

Julie Holly: Let's see what's driving you and see what's driving me. So here's my question for you: What rule have you been following that assumes things will stay the same?

Julie Holly: We touched on this earlier in the episode, but history, for better or for worse, has always had advancements in technology.

Julie Holly: And so when I think about the changing conditions that come with AI, the advancements in AI and digital currency

Julie Holly: I recognize that underneath is a fear that is a deeply human fear. God created us for community, for connection, for contribution and many of us are afraid of being displaced from all three of those with the advancements of technology I'm wondering what you're noticing what is, what's driving you. And when I say noticing what is, The circumstances are what they are

Julie Holly: Where you are right now is where you are. And a lot of times we wrap our feelings and emotions and we, we entangle all of that. And so we're unable to simply say, "Here's where things are at." And so without shame, judgment, criticism, without condemnation, without fear, just give yourself that permission to say, "This is what is

Julie Holly: And then we move into release, discerning what no longer needs to be carried in the same way and releasing what no longer belongs. We can set down what no longer needs to come with us

Julie Holly: Like I read earlier in Pritchett's work on that quit trying harder, more effort in the same direction isn't the answer

Julie Holly: My steadfastness as a college student to, to use cash and write checks, it got harder, but I couldn't prevent that there was going to be an iPhone and the access to pay with digital currency in a completely different way from a debit card

Julie Holly: And this is where I think it's really important to differentiate between approval and acceptance. We may not like where things are headed

Julie Holly: And we don't have to approve. We can still accept what we're powerless to change

Julie Holly: You may be familiar with the Serenity Prayer that says, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."

Julie Holly: It can be such a tangled web when we are thinking about acceptance, approval, surrender, courage, all of those elements. It's important to understand the relationship between each of those and to really understand that accepting what is is not always, sometimes it is, but it's not always approving of it. It's not a sign of high five, I'm on board with this necessarily.

Julie Holly: And as I was thinking through this particular episode and releasing, surrendering also kept coming to mind. What do I need to surrender? That is a very similar way... It's another way of saying release one of the things that I noticed as I was walking through the recalibration pathway in preparation for this on the topic of technology was just understanding How much of my creativity was held captive by fear.

Julie Holly: I've been using AI for two solid years now, and When I chose to release the fear associated with using that particular tool, I was able to then use that energy that was being occupied by fear, I was able to use that energy to build really beautiful, wonderful things that are supportive and helpful to people in my community, and I, I love that.

Julie Holly: It's amazing how much creativity we have within us. And when it is applied to something that we are afraid of, it is exorbitant. There is no limit on how creative we become. Many of us, many of us have very elaborate imaginations when fear is involved. And what I discovered was that when I released the fear, I was able to use that creativity for something that was really productive, beneficial, definitely part of my calling and my contribution and helping people connect.

Julie Holly: So that's something to ask yourself to reflect. Why not use that creativity for something really awesome? We can choose to direct our energy towards fear, towards things that we have no control over, or we can accept what is the things that we don't have control over, and we can use that creativity to create impact in a really extraordinary way.

Julie Holly: Another element that you may need to release is intentionally setting down the link between your worth and the output. Your sense of worth and belonging isn't tied to what you produce. Especially if we're navigating transitions within our occupati- within our careers or a transition in our calling,

Julie Holly: we can release the belief that

Julie Holly: that striving can guarantee stability. And we can do that all while taking practical steps

Julie Holly: Prudence stays, the boulder goes

Julie Holly: One final question as we wrap up release is this: What has this response made possible for you? And what might no longer need to be carried in the same way?

Julie Holly: We recognize, we release, we reclaim. Re- reclamation is recovering, claiming, or bringing forward what belongs. What still belongs comes with you So, so much capacity is opened up when we choose to release fear or insert whatever it is. Or in your life, there is something that takes up an exorbitant amount, a disproportionate amount even, of our capacity. And when we release that, we gain so much more capacity

Julie Holly: And reclamation becomes this gift that we have capacity to receive. Reclamation is recovering, claiming, or bringing forward what belongs. What still belongs comes with you. And sometimes we have more capacity for the things that are us

Julie Holly: As I was reflecting on my relationship with technology and I got to the reclamation portion, I realized I did not know any of this was going to take place in my lifetime, and yet I was able to iterate multiple times and survive all along. And it's kind of funny because we do ourselves such a disservice when we stay in the land of what if, when we stay in the land of fear, and we choose to hold on with all our might to old belief patterns, to old identities, to hold onto the familiar, expecting that to create stable, steady conditions

Julie Holly: And when we stop and we are willing to reflect over our lifetime, we can see so much that we've already walked through. When I was looking through that lens, it really allowed me to see the potential and the possibility.

Julie Holly: I'm curious, what have you already come through that you didn't think you could? And with that, what part of you showed up then that you want to bring forward now

Julie Holly: And as we go into reinforcement, I want you to notice this thread that weaves between things. When we start with recognition, when we begin with awareness, we have the opportunity to release what's not serving us. We have the opportunity to carry forward things that still belong to us or recover things that got lost in the shuffle, and then we can reinforce those things as we continue on.

Julie Holly: Reinforcement is simply practicing and gathering lived evidence in our ordinary lives

Julie Holly: This is simply a new rhythm, one ordinary day at a time

Julie Holly: And yes there will be those moments where we catch ourselves pushing the boulder back up the hill. We don't have a magic wand that just simply, poof,, it's Exactly the way we want it to be all at once. And so you might notice yourself overpreparing or scrolling the AI headlines or bracing before a conversation. Maybe we find ourselves slipping into an old role at work

Julie Holly: And the beauty is, is that we recognize it, which allows us to explore a different response

Julie Holly: What rule am I following and what conditions was it written for?

Julie Holly: Sometimes we're looking for safety in other places

Julie Holly: If we're looking to an old rule, an old playbook on what kept us safe, that may not work any longer. And so as we are reinforcing, as we, have a situation present itself again that shows us, oh, we're, we're doing that thing again,

Julie Holly: Then we can recalibrate in that moment and say, "Where am I finding my safety?"

Julie Holly: And this is where some strategies are really useful. They become a genuine tool. So We may use some breathwork to create a sense of regulation and emotional safety. I would assume that we're already looking around to make sure we're physically in a safe situation.

Julie Holly: We may have someone we can co-regulate with in that moment. I turn to God, and I ask God all the time, you know, " direct me in your ways, in your truth. Help me to see and understand

Julie Holly: The conditions are always going to be changing, So when we have an ability to be able, to recognize what is, we can practice release and reclamation

Julie Holly: And now, and now we're offline.

Julie Holly: Our circumstances, the changing conditions are no longer dictating how we are showing up

Julie Holly: And as we practice, we start to notice more peace, more presence, creativity, a greater ability to support others, the people around us

Julie Holly: And then, when the familiar response returns, when fear, like for me, when fear creeps back in, there's no shame, judgment, criticism, condemnation. It's not failure. I simply root out that fear, release it, and I reclaim peace that God has for me. I'm curious for you, where are you still pushing the boulder?

Julie Holly: As we practice, as we walk the recalibration pathway, we find ourselves in renewed momentum, and that's moving forward from a place that is more integrated with who you are now. We move from what matters

Julie Holly: When I think about where I was as a young child with barcodes being scanned and the fear and the dysregulation associated with that to where I am now, someone two years deep in using AI, I've gone through so many different trainings and I'm using all of these tools in a way that allow my contribution to compound.

Julie Holly: If I would've stayed in the zone of fear

Julie Holly: I would not be creating the things that I've been able to create. By the way, please go check out julieholley.com. The website is live. Is it aesthetically like this beautiful website? No, it doesn't have a lot of, a lot of bells and whistles to it, but I'm so proud of the website and I was able to build that website myself using, myself using the AI tools that I understand

Julie Holly: And one of the things I most love about the website is the Get Curious on the website. Get Curious is, is the recalibration pathway that you can walk, and you don't have to sign in. You don't have to give me your email address. You can just go on and click on Get Curious, and it will just walk you through.

Julie Holly: It's a guided reflection process, And I really believe it's gonna be effective at helping you sort through things in, helping you recalibrate things in real time. So I would love it if you went over to julieholley.com and checked out the Get Curious and let me know what you think about it.

Julie Holly: All of that exists right now because I released the fear associated. I released the things that were beyond my control, and I've been able to create and iterate and do these really cool things. I love it so much

Julie Holly: And yes, AI could take over the world. I'm not naive. As excited as I am about how I am able to use the, use technology and the tools available to me at this time, I do recognize that there is a downside, that those tools could be used for harm. AI may take over the world. I'm not sure, but I am sure of this. I am powerless against it. However, I can use the tools right now in a very powerful and beautiful way, and that's what I choose to do.

Julie Holly: There's a, there's one final section I wanted to share with you from Pritchett's book, You Too, and it's a little bit longer section, but I'm gonna read it to you because I think there's a lot of value in this section as we're talking especially about renewed momentum. And what really stands out to me is that new conditions get new rules

Julie Holly: And those, and those rules are written from what still belongs.

Julie Holly: Pritchett in the section on change your personal rules for success writes, "As human beings, though, we ordinarily go with the obvious.

Julie Holly: We fall into the habit of relying on behaviors that seem to have worked best for us over the years. When we take an approach that seems to be very serviceable and which enables us to perform well and succeed, we become very attached to it. We don't readily relinquish that habit pattern. In fact, there's a tendency to follow our favorite approach more and more often, such that we get better and better at handling things that particular way.

Julie Holly: This adroitness with a certain approach results in our overdependence on the strategies and tactics it involves. We resist new maneuvers because they make us feel clumsy, awkward, or more at risk. But if you want to accelerate your rate of achievement rapidly, you must search out and vigorously employ new behaviors, new attitudes.

Julie Holly: You must be willing to break out of your routines in order to make the quantum leap. The things that worked for you in the past very likely could, sooner or later, lose their serviceability.

Julie Holly: Even if your customary approach still holds promise for maintaining your present level of performance and growth curve, it may not help much if you wanna hit far higher achievement levels, and if you continue to rely on those old routines, maybe even leaning on them most when your performance flattens out or sags, you create a trap for yourself.

Julie Holly: There is a certain irony here. Your historically most dependable, behaviors can become the major obstacles for future success. It's possible for them to cripple your progress. They may stand as personal boundary lines that limit what you can accomplish with your life I'm putting an asterisk here because I avoid hustle and hurry and acceleration of things.

Julie Holly: Identity level,

Julie Holly: Recalibration is not about removing our ambition or our pursuit of building and creating extraordinary things. We don't have to play small. We don't have to diminish who we're created to be. The identity that we create from, that is what's most important. And so as we are thinking about success, as we are thinking about what we are pursuing, we do need to be contemplating, are we operating from old ways of doing things?

Julie Holly: Are we operating from things that worked in the past that may not work now for us?

Julie Holly: With renewed momentum, things are more integrated. It flows with ease, with finesse. So do I sometimes have fear over technology taking over the world? Yeah, sometimes that, that does happen, and yet I walk the pathway. I am aware. I release.

Julie Holly: I reclaim. I continue to reinforce that, and that is why that particular area of my life does flow with that renewed momentum

Julie Holly: The truth is, is that every change in the conditions around us is an opportunity for our greatest creativity and contribution to enter the world

Julie Holly: The conditions, those are going to continue to change. That is going to happen your entire life And you don't need them to hold still to be okay. Every change in conditions is an opening for your greatest creativity and contribution to enter the world As you go about your week, there's some great questions throughout this podcast episode.

Julie Holly: I'm gonna leave you with one final question. What rule for success am I still following that was written for conditions that no longer exist?

Julie Holly: If today's episode landed with you, if you've noticed how much of your energy goes to worry, bracing, or pushing that boulder up the hill, come and join me. Tuesday, November 3rd at 10:00 AM. I'm gonna offer a 60-minute free training.

Julie Holly: I'm calling it How to make room for what matters when you're already at capacity. And yes, this will be a very intentional time. We're gonna look at the demands that never show up on your calendar, and you will leave with one meaningful place to begin making room.

Julie Holly: This is open to Recalibration Collective members and anyone, and to our friends who are listening to the podcast, you can save your seat on the new website, julieholley.com. The link is also in the show notes,

Julie Holly: If this episode helped you, I'd really appreciate it if you'd take a moment to follow, subscribe so that you don't miss what's next. If you're willing, it would mean the world to me if you left an honest rating and review., That is how this podcast reaches more people

Julie Holly: I appreciate you. Thank you so much for taking time to listen. Remember, this is a daily journey and you're exactly where you need to be today